This weekend is Mother’s Day, and I find myself at a loss for words. (Sort of, but you know I’ll manage to say something 🤪) The sadness I felt last year is a feeling I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. It wasn’t the first Mother’s Day I spent wishing I was a mother, but it was the hardest. I spent the day in a puddle of tears in the midst of our first IUI cycle back since our miscarriage. A cycle that we would find out failed three days later. I felt guilt for not being able to “look on the bright side” or truly enjoy the day with my own mother. Instead, I spent the day choking back tears and wondering what I would have looked like at 22 weeks pregnant. This year, the day has become what I’ve yearned for. As I celebrate on Sunday, tenderness will remain in my heart thinking of all those who are experiencing the sadness I described. You are never alone. Last year, I signed off from social media to allow myself to process everything I needed to feel. Although the feelings are opposite, I plan to do the same this year. I will honor the day privately and completely unplug with my family for the weekend 💙. I will hold my son close and remember what a privilege it is to hold a child in my arms. I will probably cry a lot of happy tears. My heart continues to be filled with an indescribable sense of gratitude this year. Whether you are celebrating, sitting in sadness, or somewhere in between— I’ll be thinking of you.
